Rules of Emergency Department Etiquette

For Patients And Visitors

	Do not come to the ED with a problem you have had for more than one week.
	If your doctor is in his office you should be too.
	Don't send your children to the ED with a third cousin of your mother's ex-husband, then leave town to go shopping.
	If you got your would-be patient into the family car to get to the hospital, then you can get that would-be patient out of the car and in the door.
	Don't ask, "How long is this going to take?" until you have waited at least one hour.
	Don't look behind curtains at other patients. Even if it is someone you know, you might not recognize the most prominently displayed body part.
	When the nurse is listening to your lungs anteriorly and asks you to take a deep breath, don't blow it out into her face.
	Don't add penicillin to your list of allergies immediately after the nurse gives you a shot of Bicillin LA.
	If you must vomit, aim away from the bed rails the nurse just finished cleaning.
	Don't make the nurse look like an idiot by telling the doctor a completely different history.
	If you're going to sign out AMA, do so early, before the nurse invests a lot of time in you.
	Share your displeasure with the doctor, as well as the nurse.