Ambuslaps -
Sharp, double blows, delivered to the back door of an ambulance, presumably to signal the driver to pull away; often seen on television.
Ambusneak -
To shut down all emergency equipment several blocks from a scene (also see cloaking device).
-Ambudextrous -
Ability to hold BVM with two hands and squeeze the bag with your elbow.
-Beltsnarl -
Mishandling of an ambulance seat belt by a frantic relative accompanying a patient; typically results in a need for assistance with disentanglement.
-Blurrections -
Unintelligible directions to a call (e.g. "hang a left where the old schoolhouse used to be")
-Brady Brunch -
Medication (typically 0.5 mg atropine) administered in an attempt to increase a patient's heart rate.
-Breathanol -
A gaseous, still-potent form of alcohol found wafting from the mouths of certain EMS frequent fliers.
-'Clean Jerk' -
What you hope you get when you pick up a body that's been down for a long time.
-Cloaking device -
A yet-to-be-invented gadget that renders an ambulance invisible to people who have nothing better to do than call 911 several times a day.
-Code Surfing -
Riding the stretcher into the ER while performing CPR
-Corpseekers -
Bystanders who maneuver and crane at the scene of a fatality, hoping to catch a glimpse of the recently deceased.
-Dash trash -
Paperwork, Burger King wrappers and other assorted litter that accumulates on an ambulance dashboard.
Diesel Zone -
The area to the right rear of an ambulance in high idle at an emergency scene; marked by hot, toxic gases, the atmosphere is impenetrable by bystanders.
Docklings -
A whole bunch of baby interns or residents following the attending physician through the hospital corridors.
-Ecnalubmauloid -
Any person who asks why "ambulance" is spelled backward on the front of your rig.
EMS-F -
A new EMS Certification affectionately known as an Emergency Medical Stretcher-Fetcher.
-EMS Wedgie -
The condition of an EMS worker after being "helped" (with a firm grip on the belt accompanied by lifting action) while carrying a patient down a flight of stairs.
-EMTpee -
A tent-like structure created by an exhausted EMS worker pulling the sheets over his head in a vain attempt to get a few minutes of sleep.
-FACBP -
A Fellow of the American College of Bystander Physicians; can easily be identified at any emergency scene as he shouts orders (typically "hurry up!") at EMS personnel.
-Faceprints -
Windshield indentations in car crashes.
-Fetcher -
Any lower-level EMS worker, firefighter or police officer who is repeatedly sent to the ambulance to carry ALS equipment to the fourth floor of a building with no elevator.
-Flaffling -
Hand motion by drivers stopped at intersections; intended to "help" the responding ambulance through.
-Gleek -
Any embarrassing siren noise, produced either unintentionally by the siren operator or intentionally by a "gleeky" partner.
-Glovidue -
Stubborn white powder marks left on dark uniform pants or the steering wheel after surgical gloves are removed.
-Golden Four Minutes -
The critical period prior to shift change when calls are most likely to come in.
-Kevlodor -
The pungent aroma that wafts from body armor after several hours of continuous wear, particularly on a hot day.
-Kevlumps -
The condition of a body armor vest after having been slept in.
-Levassistants -
"Helpful" bystanders at the scene of a medical emergency who attempt to help the stretcher into the ambulance, usually upsetting the balance.
-Lightbar Squirt -
A momentary activation of emergency lights as a greeting to passing fire apparatus, police cars, and other ambulances.
-Medimutes -
Patients whose relatives feel compelled to answer all questions for them.
-Mediperks -
Imaginary rewards that frequent flier patients are working up to (e.g. a free toaster after their 20th ambulance ride).
-Optic Analitis -
When your optic nerve is connected to your anus causing your outlook on life to look like shit!!
-Positive Samsonite Sign -
Victim requests emergency response. On arrival, victim standing at the curb with suitcase packed.
-Ronnie and Floyd -
Two previously unnamed "ambulance drivers" in the "Emergency" TV series; although they had non-speaking parts, the characters are easily identified by their sideburns, Afros, and white tunics and pants.
Singer Technique -
Rapid and repeated plunging of the IV needle attempting to find a vein. Considered bush league.
-Sirenoid -
An emergency vehicle driver who wears out the siren selector switch while attempting to make the most creative noise (see gleek).
-Snowden's Law -
An age-old postulate saying that a blitz of calls will come in just as you get a chance to sit down in the bathroom.
-Spazner -
Any frantic relative at the scene of an emergency who gets in the way and generally makes things worse.
Spooge -
Sticky residue, usually of organic origin; may be found on poorly cleaned backboards, laryngoscopes and other medical equipment, or on ambulance armrests.
-Talboting -
The act of driving as slowly as possible to delay arrival at an unsafe scene or unsavory call.
-Teetershuffle -
Emergency foot maneuvers done to avoid falling while carrying a patient.
-Telesymptom -
An imaginary condition thrown in when calling 911, presumably to make the ambulance arrive more quickly (e.g. "Yeah, he has a broken finger and chest pain"; see telexaggeration).
Telexaggeration -
A situation in which dispatch information does not match actual patient condition (e.g. "leg amputation" turns out to be a skinned knee).
Teley-Medic -
a newsperson's general term; used to call every EMS person on a scene a "paramedic"
-Two dude Syndrome -
Victim beat up; generally reports minding own business when, "two dude's beat the shit out of me."
-Wailmuffs -
Secret headgear worn by civilian drivers who don't want to be bothered by the ambulance behind them.
Wailenyelps -
Exciting new noises created by holding the siren knob between clicks
-Working-guy nod -
A brief head-twitch of acknowledgment to EMS personnel from roadside utility workers.
-Yelpkins -
Children who hear sirens and run out to watch a passing emergency vehicle.
-Yelpswerve -
A sudden, violent, evasive maneuver performed by a civilian driver who has just realized that an ambulance is behind them.
Airborne Ranger -
Suicide by fall.
Arrhythmia -
Living an alternative rhythm style.
AST-
Assuming Seasonal Temperature.
BA Bingo -
Play the lottery on blood alcohol results.
BATS fx -
Broke All To Shit
BENIGN -
After you be eight.
Bluey On The Green -
Full arrest on the golf course.
BOHICA -
Bend over, here it comes again.
BOHICA-WOKY -
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again, Without KY
Cancer -
yes , I can sir.
Car vs. Pole -
"But I only had 2 beers!"
Concrete Inspector -
Homeless Guy.
Concrete poisoning -
What a jumper dies from.
Cranial Rectal Inversion -
Head up butt.
CTD -
Circling The Drain; see also FTD
Defibrochism -
the need to test the defib out on oneself.
DFO -
Done Fell Out.
DRT -
Dead right there.
Deceleration Trauma -
It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.
Doing The 'Elvis' -
Vagal out on the toilet.
Doing The Tuna -
Seizures.
EMD -
Early morning discovery (Woke up dead).
Faceprints -
Windshield indentations in car crashes.
FTD -
Fixin To Die.
GB Out -
paramedic student abbreviation for cholecystectomy.
Gravitational Disassociation -
What intoxicated people experience when they fall.
Hamburger Helper -
pedestrian vs. AMTRAK.
Hang a Texaco Drip -
Haul butt fast.
Hypovolemic -
Volumetrically challenged.
Instant Ambulance-
Hip pack carried by the overzealous medic.
Insurance Pain-
"Neck pain" secondary to minor MVA.
Laser Trace -
Asystole (dead as a hammer).
MARPS -
Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals.
Mr. Sta-Puft -
the DOA after 2 weeks without A.C.
Navigationally Disadvantaged -
Your partner who can't read a map.
"O" sign -
Someone who lays unconscious with their mouth open.
Opscultate -
To visually measure a patient's vital signs without actually taking them.
Pap Smear -
Fatherhood test
Patient is A.R.T -
Assuming Room Temperature!
Patient Vu -
The strange feeling that you've transported a particular patient before.
Person of Xenon -
Guy who runs with every light known to man on the top.
Pharmanesia -
The inability to remember what a patient's home medications are for.
Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality -
Cocaine O.D.
Pharmaceutically Gifted -
A steroid user.
Polyadipose Dysfunction -
Big fat person.
Projectile Vomit -
ALWAYS has the right of way!!
PVC Challenge -
Intubation.
PUHA -
Pick Up and Haul Ass - equivalent to Swoop and Scoop.
"Q" sign -
Someone who lays unconscious with their mouth open and tongue hanging out.
Randy Rescue -
New Guy with more shit on his belt than Batman.
Rectovisualitis -
When your rectal nerves are crossed with your visual nerves and you have a shitty outlook on life.
Rheumatic -
amorous
Road Pizza -
Motorcycle Crash Victim
Salad -
Permanent ventilator patients with no EEG activity.
Stare of Life -
Look on a rookies face during his first code.
Status Asparagus -
Brain dead patient.
Tater-
A vegged out patient.
Tater Toter -
Ambulance transporting a non-emergent patient.
Test Pilot for Sara Lee-
Obese patient.
T.I.D -
Transient in distress.
TTA -
Temporary Transient Alzheimers ( sometime suffered by EMS personnel).
TBC -
Total Bone Cruncher.
Urban Outdoorsman -
Homeless person.
Using the paddles -
Person of charge.
Vein -
Conceited
V-Fib -
A person of contractions.
Vertically Challenging Person of Size -
A 400lb guy on upper floors with no elevator.
VDRT-
Very Dead Right there.
V.I.P.-
Very intoxicated person.
Vital Signs 'WNL' -
We Never Looked.
Walky Talky -
Someone who can ambulate and converse.
Windshield Taste Test -
MVA victim who nails the windshield unrestrained.
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